Jen's Joys

My Heavenly Father

2010-03-15T09:27:00.000-07:00

Recently, I've realized when I pray that I don't usually start with Father. Well, I guess I've always known that I tend to call Him another name, but I have been more aware of my prayer not beginning with Father in the past few weeks. I have been more intent to start my prayer with Father, and God has placed several different pieces in my path as I've begun to call on Him as Father. The other day in my quiet time I read The Lord's Prayer, and it starts Our Heavenly Father. Jesus taught us to pray using the name Father. Then last week I came across a devotion in my Bible written about God as Father. It said, "One of the most illuminating names of God is the one especially revealed by our Lord Jesus Christ, the name of Father." The name itself holds in it wisdom, power, and goodness and a perfect supply of all our needs (taken from the devotion).

This caused me to begin searching my heart a bit. To say that the relationship between my biological father and me is strained would be an understatement, we haven't spoked in 7 years. I don't want to get too bogged down with all the gory details of our relationship, though God has used this part of my life to minister to others. If I am completely honest, it has created a gap in my relationship with my Heavenly Father. God has provided me with a man that technically is my step-father, but I always refer to him as my Dad. He came into our lives a long time ago, and he is the one who walked me down the aisle to my now husband. He has provided A TON of healing in my life. He is the one my children know as their grandfather. He is the one that helps me to have a healthier view of my Heavenly Father. I am also getting to watch my Sweetie as a father to our children. He is a great Dad and wants the very best for our boys.

I believe, no, I know that by my beginning to start my prayer with My Heavenly Father, God is beginnning to heal all of the gap in my heart and relationship with Him. It has always been an area that I didn't want to admit had been affected by a divorce and getting to see my biological father for who is, who he is not, and who I wanted him to be. I have forgiven him, and there was a time when I prayed to forgive him but asked God to forgive me of my own unforgiving heart. I am not mad at him anymore. There are moments in life it makes me sad but not angry. It did affect me, but my Heavenly Father is healing that part of me. I'm thankful that He put a Dad and my Sweetie in my life that began the healing process. I'm thankful for my Heavenly Father who is going to complete the healing in His time.
Joyfully,

The Sweetest Prayer

2010-03-08T19:03:00.000-08:00

This evening my sweetie and our oldest were going through the Upward Soccer magnet hanging on our fridge that talked about salvation. My sweetie went through all the steps with him and then asked did he want to pray the prayer, to which he responded yes. I was getting toothbrushes ready but listening to their conversation, as my heart began to swell with emotion. Ah, the sweetest sound to this Mama's ear, as my oldest boy began to pray the prayer and ask Jesus in his heart. "However,...but rejoice that your names are written in heaven." (Luke 10:20)

Tonight, I know the angels were singing and His Heavenly Father was smiling down as our oldest asked Jesus into his heart, and his name is written in the Book of Life!! I think anytime is the perfect time, but I loved that during this time of Easter drawing near that my oldest would ask the One who gave His life for him to come into his heart. I rejoiced and my eyes grew moist as I hugged that little one close and told him I loved him. I am thankful for his Daddy to take the time to walk him through the steps but also asked him if he wanted to pray the prayer. No sweeter words, no sweeter time than to be part of hearing your child pray that prayer. I am thankful that JD knows Jesus loves him. "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Proverbs 22:6

A Heart of Thanks

2010-02-27T06:07:00.000-08:00

One of the many areas God has been working in my life is moving me to spending a quiet moment with Him in the morning. I have not been faithful to the call first thing in the morning the past couple of weeks but trying. Confession, I am NOT a morning person, I do not love to get up early. As a matter of fact, my husband would happily tell you my goal is to get up out of the bed, to the coffee pot and then to the couch to sit and wake. Truly, there are days when I could happily sit there waking up for one hour in the quietness of the late morning. However, my two sweet, small boys don't allow their Mama to sit there for one hour to wake up. They have needs that need to be met!

On to the point...I have a Women's Devotion Bible that I use and have gone to the devotion topics index and chosen joy and then to thankfulness, which I finished up this morning. I kind of had an "AHA" God moment, which will seem like a duh moment to most. I love that God has been showing me that a thankful heart leads me to being filled with His joy. One of my favorite scripture passages is I Thessalonians 5:16-18: Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. It has dawned on me that I can be joyful when I keep in constant communication with my Heavenly Father and give Him thanks. It was an "AHA" when God spoke to my heart that being thankful may not change the circumstances, but it absolutely can change my heart. As God has made me aware of this truth, I have realized that the days I am grumbling and decide to start thanking Him, my heart is changed toward one of gratitude. What are you thankful for? On days that are tough, what can you thank Him for in your life? Lord, thank You for changing my grumbling heart to a heart that is thankful.
Joyfully,

My Legacy

2010-02-10T07:24:00.000-08:00

What is the legacy I am leaving? I began this blog forever ago, but I haven't used it as much as I would like to. It isn't as fancy as some people's due in part to my not so computer savvy self not having a clue as to how to do some of it. I don't think I will be famous or rich from it, but I do want to leave a legacy. I love the Nicole Nordeman song that talks about I want to leave a legacy, will they remember me, did I point to You enough in my life.

In less than 2 weeks, God has used the story of Peter stepping out of the boat (Matthew 14:22-36). I love that Jesus simply tells Peter to come, Peter steps out and then takes his eyes off of Jesus and becomes afraid. How often am I afraid to "step out" of the boat? How often am I so comfortable in what I know and what's familiar that I stay in the boat? As I've had this scripture before me I've asked myself, what are my dreams and what are my fears? My dream is that God will use me, my fear is that God will use me. I want God to use me, but I fear how will He use me because He likes to call us out of our comfort zone to rely on His strength and not our own. I don't know where God is calling me, but I want to be obedient to get out of the boat because Jesus is calling me to come to Him. I don't want to miss out on what He has for me because I am too comfortable in the boat. Is part of my legacy going to be sitting in the boat? I can't stay there because my faith says I've got to step out. I want to leave a legacy to my boys that speaks loudly of getting out of the boat to follow Jesus. Obedience to Jesus, even when it's hard to to do it. I want my legacy to point to Jesus. Have you gotten out of your boat? What kind of legacy are you leaving?

Joyfully,

God's Challenging Me

2010-02-05T11:39:00.001-08:00

This week has been a week where God has been pulling at my heart. He's challenging me on some things in my life. I am not going to go into a lot of detail, but I do want to share some things. He is challenging me (and my sweetie) to get connected in a more relational way in our church. We are very soon to try a new Sunday School class that we have been told about three times. I've always heard if God uses something three times, He's probably trying to tell you something. I'm looking forward to us being a part of group that will notice when we've missed for several weeks and wonders where we've been. When you only sit in worship, those around you change from week to week and won't have any idea you've missed the past three.

Recently, I attended a new ministry program at my Mom's church. Actually, I was there this last time because I was the special music for the program. It is a great program for girls of all ages...every age was there, but I think they are desiring for mothers and daughters to attend. I like the idea behind this and having speakers who can help mothers engage the daughters in conversation about the different topics. I love the idea, BUT I have boys!!! God has been speaking to my heart about where are the programs for the boys. Who is leading these kinds of events for mothers and sons? I don't know, but I believe God is calling me to be open to this idea. I don't know that I will speak to a group like this but perhaps organize something for this to be done. I desire for my boys to be gentlemen, to be Christ-like and to follow in His steps. My prayer is that they will be boys who follow after God's heart that then grow into young men, adult men and old men that have been faithful followers of the One who loves them best.
The other area is being a lot more faithful to this blog I've started. It is entitled "Jen's Daily Joys", and there are daily things in my life to share. There are things every day that God uses and this is a great outlet for me to write it down, to journal it. It allows me to see how God is working in my life as a woman, a wife and a mom. There are days when it is difficult (today has been tough), but I still know the call in my life is to be a Proverbs 31 woman to my sweetie and my precious boys.

There are some other areas in my life He's working on. Areas that I'll share as I feel a little more direction but for now it's exciting and a lot challenging. I want to be obedient where He's calling me and faithful to do what He's asking of me. What is God working on your heart about? What are your challenges He's set before you?

Perfection to be Beautiful!?!

2009-11-09T13:27:00.000-08:00

I have barely started Karen Kingsbury's "Shades of Blue", and this sentence blew me away. This sentence made me sit back in my chair and really think, and I've now been thinking on it for a full day. "She was proof that perfection wasn't needed for life to be beautiful." Wow!!! Here I am sitting in a chair in a salon with foils in my hair, trying to obtain perfection, kidding, but it made me begin to think about my life. How often am I trying to obtain perfection and then beat myself up when I haven't arrived?

I cannot answer this for men, but I think for a lot of women we are trying to be perfect. The perfect woman with the perfect body, face, hair, perfect wife, the perfect mom with the perfectly behaved children, living in a perfectly and beautifully decorated home that is perfectly spotless. The list could go on and on in the ways that we, I try to obtain perfection. I am sad to say that I do beat myself up when I fall short of the crazy and completely unobtainable goal I have set for myself. I must stress that part...the goal I have set for myself. No one has told me I have to be perfect. I just realized somewhere I got caught up in believing all these "things" will lead to it. I began to think how much time am I wasting trying to reach my perfect goal. How much am I missing out on because I am trying to pursue that goal? In pursuing that, I think, there is a joy of living that gets lost in the path I have chosen for myself. I am missing the beauty in life, and life can be beautiful without perfection.

Ladies, whoever reads this, I no longer want to live a perfect life but a beautiful life. I want to fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith, our faith (Hebrews 12:2). I want to find my acceptance in Him and not of those around me. When I say those around me, I mean people I don't really know but think they have the perfect life. The truth is, we all have our "stuff" that we would change about our bodies, our homes, our whatever yours is...we all have it. I want my husband to see his wife satisfied and my children to see their mama satisfied because my joy is in Jesus and not because I am striving for some kind of perfection I can't reach. Here is to living a beautiful life...may you find beauty in the every day.
Joyfully,

"Redeeming Love"

2009-10-20T18:25:00.000-07:00

Today I finished "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers, an amazing book. I read it for the second time, the first time was probably 1999, I have to say before some of life happened. The first time I thought it was a great book, but this time it spoke to me much differently. This time I have lived a little more, life isn't as black and white as it was when I read it so many years ago. The first time I was so frustrated and angry at Angel for going back to her life of prostitution, for missing out on so much of the life she and Michael could have had. She left not once but three times, three times!! This time when I read it I realized that I was Angel. I am loved with an everlasting love, and I go back to prostitution, not literally, but to the things that keep me from God and all He has for me. I find, like Angel, that although I have been forgiven for past sins, I sometimes find it difficult to live a forgiven life and really receive it. God desires to not just give life but ABUNDANT LIFE. I go back to the sin and the junk that separates me from Him, back to the prostitution. It was such a reminder that I am a sinner saved and made clean because of His sacrifice. He has so much to offer to me, and I cling to what I "know" and am comfortable with. He wants me to place my trust in Him to give me so much more than I could dare imagine. Just let go and take His hand and all that that has to offer. Do I dare? I love that in the book she goes back again and again, but the last time is on her own free will because she finally gets it. I am thankful God allows me to come back time and time again. He never stopped chasing after Angel. He never stops showing us how much He loves us, He keeps coming after us in big ways and little ways, in ways I know I miss along the way. I don't want to miss out on all He has for me anymore!

Simple Truths

2009-09-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

Don't you love when God reminds you of the simple truths in life? Jesus loves me. Then He uses that truth and continues to put it before you. Our pastor preached a sermon a few weeks ago that reminded me that Jesus loves me and my acceptance comes from Him. I have just finished a book, "The Organic God", which I highly recommend, the author not only mentions that simple truth: Jesus loves me, but asks "What do you love about Jesus?" I love that!! I have found that over the last few weeks that has resonated within me...what do I love about Jesus? There are so many things that have been brought to mind. I love that He loves me...in all of my sin and the yuck I carry, He loves me. I love that He still speaks...in a world that is full of noise, "He is not silent, we are not listening." I pray for me and for my family that we will hear and obey that still, quiet voice that still speaks. I love Him because the world teaches us we can never have enough, but He is enough. He is enough!! I love Jesus because for some crazy reason He came into this world and died for ME(and for you)...and although nails held Him to that cruel cross, His love for me (and for you) would have kept Him on that tree. That is amazing to me!! I love Him because His mercies are new every morning, and with a 2 and 4 year old I need His mercy every day :)!! I love Jesus because His grace flows freely down to me. I am so thankful for the simple truths He puts in my life to remind me of His love and His goodness.

We All Have a Story

2009-08-17T05:45:00.000-07:00

We all have a story to tell. Being a stay at home wife and mom, I have moments of thinking perhaps I should be contributing more to our family. There is a need for me to be doing something "bigger". I was listeing to a song the other day that made me realize I have a story right where I am. God is using me in this time, in this moment to be a wife, to be with the boys, to cook dinner, to clean up messes (a constant), wipe noses, dry tears, share Jesus with them in everyday moments. My story is right where I am and not in the "bigger" story. I believe with all that is in me that I have been called to be here for this time in my life and the life of my family. I am so thankful that I am able to do this and be able to stay at home. The truth is, we are all invited to join the story! God has a story for each of us and wants to use us in His ways, but often times we, I have my own agenda, and lose sight of His story in my life. It isn't waiting for those big moments in life that God is going to use us; He uses us when we bow our knee before Him and let Him do His will through us. It is in the small every day moments, joys and sorrows that my husband, my sons, and those around me will see Jesus. I pray that my agenda is His agenda and that He uses me in the "Bigger Story".

The Grumpies...

2009-07-01T11:58:00.000-07:00

Where is the joy? This week has been a tough week. George has had tough week...Sat. he started wheezing. He's been put on several breathing treatments, a steriod and Augmentin...which last night created horrible diaper rash and had lots of yucky diapers which produced bloody curdling screams. I felt bad for him, really heartbreaking to watch. We will start on a new antibiotic tonight. Today he is just plain old grumpy, which makes me grumpy. HOWEVER, I must say there is still a certain joy there even in the midst of some yuck going on. He may be not quite himself this week, but it is only temporary. We are not dealing with a life threatening issue with him. Thank you the Lord. There is a joy watching a big brother try his best to help make a little brother happy and try to soothe some hurt. There is joy because life will return to normal soon enough, normal is all relative here!

2009-06-24T13:26:00.000-07:00

"By focusing our heart's desire on Christ and letting the Holy Spirit transform us from the inside out, we are indeed becoming beautiful where it really counts." Debra Evans

This quote was in my Devotion Bible this morning and it was needed today. In my mindset of finding joy in the daily living, it seemed so appropriate as I am exercising more and watching what I am eating. The everyday joy is this: I may not be the weight I want to be but I can find joy that I can do things to promote healthy living. I am exercising because I know it is good for me, and I am trying to eat lots of fruits and veggies, correct portions of food and just be healthy. I am thankful that I have a body that works to do the exercise. In looking at the quote above, I think we have lost sight of beauty on the inside and are much more focused on outward beauty. We, and by we I mean me, have ideas in our heads of what beauty is...but God's Word tells us He makes all things beautiful in His time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). I think though it is where it counts, the inside. I hope and pray that my husband and my children see Jesus in me that they can see Him working in my life. I hope they see my Heavenly Father making me beautiful on the inside so I look more like Him.

Joys

2009-06-23T06:39:00.000-07:00

Joy...there are so many joys in my life. My husband, my 2 boys, my family, having a roof over my head, a husband who is a great provider so I can stay home with the boys and JESUS. I am reminded this morning that my hope is in Jesus and He is to be my stronghold. He is my security...nothing in this world can take the place of Him, there is no thing that will make me happy. My joy is in Him alone. When I think about it, it is a great truth that when all the world fades away, Jesus will remain.

2008-12-22T13:29:00.000-08:00

The Reason for the Season...I am reminded at this time of year all the little things I have to be thankful for and there are many. I have a healthy family, a roof over my head, food to eat, water, heat - all taken care of. There is a song Amy Grant sings that says "I need a Silent Night to hear an angel's voice above the chaos and the noise. I need a Midnight Clear a little peace right here." For some reason that song hit me, I was reminded that Christmas isn't about the hustle and bustle, the craziness of trying to get it all done but about the Baby Jesus. I am thankful that so long ago God would send His Son to the this earth to live among us that we might know Him. He loves each of us and wants to know us personally. He is the peace at this time of year and all year long. He is our joy at all times, no matter the circumstances. He is all we really need. The world wants us to believe that we need all this stuff, but we really only need Jesus to fulfill the need in our life. Without Jesus, we just keep looking for things to fill our lives up. I find that often in the chaos of the day I forget to rely on Jesus. I am so thankful that when I am not faithful HE ALWAYS remains faithful. The world would have us believe we can rely on ourselves, and I am thankful I can rely on Jesus. I am thankful for that baby in a manger so many years ago. His birth was a quiet one; not a lot of fanfare in the grand scheme of things, and yet in that moment the greatest gift any of us will ever know was born. He wasn't the one everyone may have been looking for because although He is the King of Kings there was no castle but a stable. He was a baby who would make a great sacrifice that we can know life. I am thankful to know the Reason for the Season.

Counting My Blessings

2008-11-25T10:32:00.001-08:00

It is certainly the right time of year to count my blessings and remind myself of all I am thankful for today and always. I am thankful for my family, husband and 2 boys, and we are all healthy. There are days I need to remember this especially when the boys are difficult or I'm tired or whatever. I'm thankful for family to share the holidays with; I know there are those who won't be with loved ones for one reason or another. They are blessings. There are those crazy days when I "can't" hold my boys every time they want me to, but I need to remind myself to count my blessings. They are growing before my very eyes and there will come a day soon enough when they won't want me to hold them and they'll be too big. Right now is the best time and a crazy time of the year and I need to sit back and relax and take it all in. I need to enjoy every minute with my children, with my husband. I need to count my blessings. I am guilty of getting caught up in the busyness of everyday...making sure the house is clean, getting meals ready, laundry done and put away, the list goes on and on. I need to count my blessings and get caught up in my little ones, in my husband. I am grateful for the gifts and the blessings God has given me. The most important gift of Jesus and to remember that I am Jesus to my children in each touch, look, word spoken...are they seeing enough of Jesus in me? I am reminded to count my blessings but let it not be just now at Thanksgiving but every day for the blessings all around me.