"Redeeming Love"

Today I finished "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers, an amazing book. I read it for the second time, the first time was probably 1999, I have to say before some of life happened. The first time I thought it was a great book, but this time it spoke to me much differently. This time I have lived a little more, life isn't as black and white as it was when I read it so many years ago. The first time I was so frustrated and angry at Angel for going back to her life of prostitution, for missing out on so much of the life she and Michael could have had. She left not once but three times, three times!! This time when I read it I realized that I was Angel. I am loved with an everlasting love, and I go back to prostitution, not literally, but to the things that keep me from God and all He has for me. I find, like Angel, that although I have been forgiven for past sins, I sometimes find it difficult to live a forgiven life and really receive it. God desires to not just give life but ABUNDANT LIFE. I go back to the sin and the junk that separates me from Him, back to the prostitution. It was such a reminder that I am a sinner saved and made clean because of His sacrifice. He has so much to offer to me, and I cling to what I "know" and am comfortable with. He wants me to place my trust in Him to give me so much more than I could dare imagine. Just let go and take His hand and all that that has to offer. Do I dare? I love that in the book she goes back again and again, but the last time is on her own free will because she finally gets it. I am thankful God allows me to come back time and time again. He never stopped chasing after Angel. He never stops showing us how much He loves us, He keeps coming after us in big ways and little ways, in ways I know I miss along the way. I don't want to miss out on all He has for me anymore!

Simple Truths

Don't you love when God reminds you of the simple truths in life? Jesus loves me. Then He uses that truth and continues to put it before you. Our pastor preached a sermon a few weeks ago that reminded me that Jesus loves me and my acceptance comes from Him. I have just finished a book, "The Organic God", which I highly recommend, the author not only mentions that simple truth: Jesus loves me, but asks "What do you love about Jesus?" I love that!! I have found that over the last few weeks that has resonated within me...what do I love about Jesus? There are so many things that have been brought to mind. I love that He loves me...in all of my sin and the yuck I carry, He loves me. I love that He still speaks...in a world that is full of noise, "He is not silent, we are not listening." I pray for me and for my family that we will hear and obey that still, quiet voice that still speaks. I love Him because the world teaches us we can never have enough, but He is enough. He is enough!! I love Jesus because for some crazy reason He came into this world and died for ME(and for you)...and although nails held Him to that cruel cross, His love for me (and for you) would have kept Him on that tree. That is amazing to me!! I love Him because His mercies are new every morning, and with a 2 and 4 year old I need His mercy every day :)!! I love Jesus because His grace flows freely down to me. I am so thankful for the simple truths He puts in my life to remind me of His love and His goodness.

We All Have a Story

We all have a story to tell. Being a stay at home wife and mom, I have moments of thinking perhaps I should be contributing more to our family. There is a need for me to be doing something "bigger". I was listeing to a song the other day that made me realize I have a story right where I am. God is using me in this time, in this moment to be a wife, to be with the boys, to cook dinner, to clean up messes (a constant), wipe noses, dry tears, share Jesus with them in everyday moments. My story is right where I am and not in the "bigger" story. I believe with all that is in me that I have been called to be here for this time in my life and the life of my family. I am so thankful that I am able to do this and be able to stay at home. The truth is, we are all invited to join the story! God has a story for each of us and wants to use us in His ways, but often times we, I have my own agenda, and lose sight of His story in my life. It isn't waiting for those big moments in life that God is going to use us; He uses us when we bow our knee before Him and let Him do His will through us. It is in the small every day moments, joys and sorrows that my husband, my sons, and those around me will see Jesus. I pray that my agenda is His agenda and that He uses me in the "Bigger Story".

The Grumpies...

Where is the joy? This week has been a tough week. George has had tough week...Sat. he started wheezing. He's been put on several breathing treatments, a steriod and Augmentin...which last night created horrible diaper rash and had lots of yucky diapers which produced bloody curdling screams. I felt bad for him, really heartbreaking to watch. We will start on a new antibiotic tonight. Today he is just plain old grumpy, which makes me grumpy. HOWEVER, I must say there is still a certain joy there even in the midst of some yuck going on. He may be not quite himself this week, but it is only temporary. We are not dealing with a life threatening issue with him. Thank you the Lord. There is a joy watching a big brother try his best to help make a little brother happy and try to soothe some hurt. There is joy because life will return to normal soon enough, normal is all relative here!

"By focusing our heart's desire on Christ and letting the Holy Spirit transform us from the inside out, we are indeed becoming beautiful where it really counts." Debra Evans

This quote was in my Devotion Bible this morning and it was needed today. In my mindset of finding joy in the daily living, it seemed so appropriate as I am exercising more and watching what I am eating. The everyday joy is this: I may not be the weight I want to be but I can find joy that I can do things to promote healthy living. I am exercising because I know it is good for me, and I am trying to eat lots of fruits and veggies, correct portions of food and just be healthy. I am thankful that I have a body that works to do the exercise. In looking at the quote above, I think we have lost sight of beauty on the inside and are much more focused on outward beauty. We, and by we I mean me, have ideas in our heads of what beauty is...but God's Word tells us He makes all things beautiful in His time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). I think though it is where it counts, the inside. I hope and pray that my husband and my children see Jesus in me that they can see Him working in my life. I hope they see my Heavenly Father making me beautiful on the inside so I look more like Him.

Joys

Joy...there are so many joys in my life. My husband, my 2 boys, my family, having a roof over my head, a husband who is a great provider so I can stay home with the boys and JESUS. I am reminded this morning that my hope is in Jesus and He is to be my stronghold. He is my security...nothing in this world can take the place of Him, there is no thing that will make me happy. My joy is in Him alone. When I think about it, it is a great truth that when all the world fades away, Jesus will remain.

The Reason for the Season...I am reminded at this time of year all the little things I have to be thankful for and there are many. I have a healthy family, a roof over my head, food to eat, water, heat - all taken care of. There is a song Amy Grant sings that says "I need a Silent Night to hear an angel's voice above the chaos and the noise. I need a Midnight Clear a little peace right here." For some reason that song hit me, I was reminded that Christmas isn't about the hustle and bustle, the craziness of trying to get it all done but about the Baby Jesus. I am thankful that so long ago God would send His Son to the this earth to live among us that we might know Him. He loves each of us and wants to know us personally. He is the peace at this time of year and all year long. He is our joy at all times, no matter the circumstances. He is all we really need. The world wants us to believe that we need all this stuff, but we really only need Jesus to fulfill the need in our life. Without Jesus, we just keep looking for things to fill our lives up. I find that often in the chaos of the day I forget to rely on Jesus. I am so thankful that when I am not faithful HE ALWAYS remains faithful. The world would have us believe we can rely on ourselves, and I am thankful I can rely on Jesus. I am thankful for that baby in a manger so many years ago. His birth was a quiet one; not a lot of fanfare in the grand scheme of things, and yet in that moment the greatest gift any of us will ever know was born. He wasn't the one everyone may have been looking for because although He is the King of Kings there was no castle but a stable. He was a baby who would make a great sacrifice that we can know life. I am thankful to know the Reason for the Season.