Today I finished "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers, an amazing book. I read it for the second time, the first time was probably 1999, I have to say before some of life happened. The first time I thought it was a great book, but this time it spoke to me much differently. This time I have lived a little more, life isn't as black and white as it was when I read it so many years ago. The first time I was so frustrated and angry at Angel for going back to her life of prostitution, for missing out on so much of the life she and Michael could have had. She left not once but three times, three times!! This time when I read it I realized that I was Angel. I am loved with an everlasting love, and I go back to prostitution, not literally, but to the things that keep me from God and all He has for me. I find, like Angel, that although I have been forgiven for past sins, I sometimes find it difficult to live a forgiven life and really receive it. God desires to not just give life but ABUNDANT LIFE. I go back to the sin and the junk that separates me from Him, back to the prostitution. It was such a reminder that I am a sinner saved and made clean because of His sacrifice. He has so much to offer to me, and I cling to what I "know" and am comfortable with. He wants me to place my trust in Him to give me so much more than I could dare imagine. Just let go and take His hand and all that that has to offer. Do I dare? I love that in the book she goes back again and again, but the last time is on her own free will because she finally gets it. I am thankful God allows me to come back time and time again. He never stopped chasing after Angel. He never stops showing us how much He loves us, He keeps coming after us in big ways and little ways, in ways I know I miss along the way. I don't want to miss out on all He has for me anymore!