I have barely started Karen Kingsbury's "Shades of Blue", and this sentence blew me away. This sentence made me sit back in my chair and really think, and I've now been thinking on it for a full day. "She was proof that perfection wasn't needed for life to be beautiful." Wow!!! Here I am sitting in a chair in a salon with foils in my hair, trying to obtain perfection, kidding, but it made me begin to think about my life. How often am I trying to obtain perfection and then beat myself up when I haven't arrived?
I cannot answer this for men, but I think for a lot of women we are trying to be perfect. The perfect woman with the perfect body, face, hair, perfect wife, the perfect mom with the perfectly behaved children, living in a perfectly and beautifully decorated home that is perfectly spotless. The list could go on and on in the ways that we, I try to obtain perfection. I am sad to say that I do beat myself up when I fall short of the crazy and completely unobtainable goal I have set for myself. I must stress that part...the goal I have set for myself. No one has told me I have to be perfect. I just realized somewhere I got caught up in believing all these "things" will lead to it. I began to think how much time am I wasting trying to reach my perfect goal. How much am I missing out on because I am trying to pursue that goal? In pursuing that, I think, there is a joy of living that gets lost in the path I have chosen for myself. I am missing the beauty in life, and life can be beautiful without perfection.
Ladies, whoever reads this, I no longer want to live a perfect life but a beautiful life. I want to fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith, our faith (Hebrews 12:2). I want to find my acceptance in Him and not of those around me. When I say those around me, I mean people I don't really know but think they have the perfect life. The truth is, we all have our "stuff" that we would change about our bodies, our homes, our whatever yours is...we all have it. I want my husband to see his wife satisfied and my children to see their mama satisfied because my joy is in Jesus and not because I am striving for some kind of perfection I can't reach. Here is to living a beautiful life...may you find beauty in the every day.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Today I finished "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers, an amazing book. I read it for the second time, the first time was probably 1999, I have to say before some of life happened. The first time I thought it was a great book, but this time it spoke to me much differently. This time I have lived a little more, life isn't as black and white as it was when I read it so many years ago. The first time I was so frustrated and angry at Angel for going back to her life of prostitution, for missing out on so much of the life she and Michael could have had. She left not once but three times, three times!! This time when I read it I realized that I was Angel. I am loved with an everlasting love, and I go back to prostitution, not literally, but to the things that keep me from God and all He has for me. I find, like Angel, that although I have been forgiven for past sins, I sometimes find it difficult to live a forgiven life and really receive it. God desires to not just give life but ABUNDANT LIFE. I go back to the sin and the junk that separates me from Him, back to the prostitution. It was such a reminder that I am a sinner saved and made clean because of His sacrifice. He has so much to offer to me, and I cling to what I "know" and am comfortable with. He wants me to place my trust in Him to give me so much more than I could dare imagine. Just let go and take His hand and all that that has to offer. Do I dare? I love that in the book she goes back again and again, but the last time is on her own free will because she finally gets it. I am thankful God allows me to come back time and time again. He never stopped chasing after Angel. He never stops showing us how much He loves us, He keeps coming after us in big ways and little ways, in ways I know I miss along the way. I don't want to miss out on all He has for me anymore!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Don't you love when God reminds you of the simple truths in life? Jesus loves me. Then He uses that truth and continues to put it before you. Our pastor preached a sermon a few weeks ago that reminded me that Jesus loves me and my acceptance comes from Him. I have just finished a book, "The Organic God", which I highly recommend, the author not only mentions that simple truth: Jesus loves me, but asks "What do you love about Jesus?" I love that!! I have found that over the last few weeks that has resonated within me...what do I love about Jesus? There are so many things that have been brought to mind. I love that He loves me...in all of my sin and the yuck I carry, He loves me. I love that He still speaks...in a world that is full of noise, "He is not silent, we are not listening." I pray for me and for my family that we will hear and obey that still, quiet voice that still speaks. I love Him because the world teaches us we can never have enough, but He is enough. He is enough!! I love Jesus because for some crazy reason He came into this world and died for ME(and for you)...and although nails held Him to that cruel cross, His love for me (and for you) would have kept Him on that tree. That is amazing to me!! I love Him because His mercies are new every morning, and with a 2 and 4 year old I need His mercy every day :)!! I love Jesus because His grace flows freely down to me. I am so thankful for the simple truths He puts in my life to remind me of His love and His goodness.
Monday, August 17, 2009
We all have a story to tell. Being a stay at home wife and mom, I have moments of thinking perhaps I should be contributing more to our family. There is a need for me to be doing something "bigger". I was listeing to a song the other day that made me realize I have a story right where I am. God is using me in this time, in this moment to be a wife, to be with the boys, to cook dinner, to clean up messes (a constant), wipe noses, dry tears, share Jesus with them in everyday moments. My story is right where I am and not in the "bigger" story. I believe with all that is in me that I have been called to be here for this time in my life and the life of my family. I am so thankful that I am able to do this and be able to stay at home. The truth is, we are all invited to join the story! God has a story for each of us and wants to use us in His ways, but often times we, I have my own agenda, and lose sight of His story in my life. It isn't waiting for those big moments in life that God is going to use us; He uses us when we bow our knee before Him and let Him do His will through us. It is in the small every day moments, joys and sorrows that my husband, my sons, and those around me will see Jesus. I pray that my agenda is His agenda and that He uses me in the "Bigger Story".
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Where is the joy? This week has been a tough week. George has had tough week...Sat. he started wheezing. He's been put on several breathing treatments, a steriod and Augmentin...which last night created horrible diaper rash and had lots of yucky diapers which produced bloody curdling screams. I felt bad for him, really heartbreaking to watch. We will start on a new antibiotic tonight. Today he is just plain old grumpy, which makes me grumpy. HOWEVER, I must say there is still a certain joy there even in the midst of some yuck going on. He may be not quite himself this week, but it is only temporary. We are not dealing with a life threatening issue with him. Thank you the Lord. There is a joy watching a big brother try his best to help make a little brother happy and try to soothe some hurt. There is joy because life will return to normal soon enough, normal is all relative here!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
"By focusing our heart's desire on Christ and letting the Holy Spirit transform us from the inside out, we are indeed becoming beautiful where it really counts." Debra Evans
This quote was in my Devotion Bible this morning and it was needed today. In my mindset of finding joy in the daily living, it seemed so appropriate as I am exercising more and watching what I am eating. The everyday joy is this: I may not be the weight I want to be but I can find joy that I can do things to promote healthy living. I am exercising because I know it is good for me, and I am trying to eat lots of fruits and veggies, correct portions of food and just be healthy. I am thankful that I have a body that works to do the exercise. In looking at the quote above, I think we have lost sight of beauty on the inside and are much more focused on outward beauty. We, and by we I mean me, have ideas in our heads of what beauty is...but God's Word tells us He makes all things beautiful in His time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). I think though it is where it counts, the inside. I hope and pray that my husband and my children see Jesus in me that they can see Him working in my life. I hope they see my Heavenly Father making me beautiful on the inside so I look more like Him.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Joy...there are so many joys in my life. My husband, my 2 boys, my family, having a roof over my head, a husband who is a great provider so I can stay home with the boys and JESUS. I am reminded this morning that my hope is in Jesus and He is to be my stronghold. He is my security...nothing in this world can take the place of Him, there is no thing that will make me happy. My joy is in Him alone. When I think about it, it is a great truth that when all the world fades away, Jesus will remain.