Recently, I've realized when I pray that I don't usually start with Father. Well, I guess I've always known that I tend to call Him another name, but I have been more aware of my prayer not beginning with Father in the past few weeks. I have been more intent to start my prayer with Father, and God has placed several different pieces in my path as I've begun to call on Him as Father. The other day in my quiet time I read The Lord's Prayer, and it starts Our Heavenly Father. Jesus taught us to pray using the name Father. Then last week I came across a devotion in my Bible written about God as Father. It said, "One of the most illuminating names of God is the one especially revealed by our Lord Jesus Christ, the name of Father." The name itself holds in it wisdom, power, and goodness and a perfect supply of all our needs (taken from the devotion).
This caused me to begin searching my heart a bit. To say that the relationship between my biological father and me is strained would be an understatement, we haven't spoked in 7 years. I don't want to get too bogged down with all the gory details of our relationship, though God has used this part of my life to minister to others. If I am completely honest, it has created a gap in my relationship with my Heavenly Father. God has provided me with a man that technically is my step-father, but I always refer to him as my Dad. He came into our lives a long time ago, and he is the one who walked me down the aisle to my now husband. He has provided A TON of healing in my life. He is the one my children know as their grandfather. He is the one that helps me to have a healthier view of my Heavenly Father. I am also getting to watch my Sweetie as a father to our children. He is a great Dad and wants the very best for our boys.
I believe, no, I know that by my beginning to start my prayer with My Heavenly Father, God is beginnning to heal all of the gap in my heart and relationship with Him. It has always been an area that I didn't want to admit had been affected by a divorce and getting to see my biological father for who is, who he is not, and who I wanted him to be. I have forgiven him, and there was a time when I prayed to forgive him but asked God to forgive me of my own unforgiving heart. I am not mad at him anymore. There are moments in life it makes me sad but not angry. It did affect me, but my Heavenly Father is healing that part of me. I'm thankful that He put a Dad and my Sweetie in my life that began the healing process. I'm thankful for my Heavenly Father who is going to complete the healing in His time.